Why Self-Love?

Why
Self-Love?

There are so many reasons why my work centers around self-love.

It is the gateway and the sacred ground upon which we walk into the life that is beckoning to us.

Over time self-love moves us away from an unsupportive inner landscape, and towards a more nurturing and peace-filled inner experience. Self-love does not promise happiness or prevent loneliness, but brick-by-brick, sustained self-love practices can build an inner sanctuary of welcome that can hold whatever arises.

Self-love is essential, and in my case, it doesn’t just happen spontaneously.

What is self-love?

For me, self-love is a deep inner acceptance of our full selves. It is self-worth regardless of productivity, personal history, or expectations from ourselves or others. It is trust in our inherent goodness.

It is a bridge to authenticity and connection,

and an invitation to peace and presence.

It is a bridge to authenticity and connection, and an invitation to peace and presence.

Just as plants require certain conditions to thrive, so do we. And just as each plant has unique needs, every person has our own unique kaleidoscope of needs. Self-love in practice will look different for every person, and it will also change through the seasons of our lives. True self-love must grow with us as we grow over time.

Self-love is not a concept that exists theoretically in our minds.

We enact it.

Self-love is not a concept that exists theoretically in our minds.

We enact it.

Over time we can recognize what self-love feels like in our bodies, in our hearts. We begin to keep company with its presence, and take action to nurture it when we sense its diminishment.

Self-love is also a web of support that we intentionally and bravely build. The myth that we must “do it alone” turns us away from self-love.

It is not easy, my friend. Self-love is a practice that we must keep coming home to. And of course, it is also a journey of discovery.

At it’s best, self-love is unconditional. And when its not, self-love relies on deep humility, gentleness and self-forgiveness guide us back.

If there is one simple definition I keep coming back to regarding self-love, it is this: self-love is life-giving.

Are self-love and self-care the same thing?

Not exactly.

I do believe that we are naturally inspired to care for that which we love. So, self-love draws us towards self-care.

But if we do not have a strong foundation of self-love ~ and the nuanced self-knowledge that accompanies it ~ how can we know what we need? How can we know how to take care of ourselves?

Without this self-attunement, we are susceptible to all the marketing that tells us to do this or that in the name of self-care. To apply this product or purchase that item. It’s easy to believe in the quick fixes, and more importantly, the subtle messaging that others know better than we do what is good for us.

True self-care should honor our sovereignty.

If our alliance to ourselves isn’t well-established, we may also run the risk of invoking self-blame if the prescribed self-care regimen doesn’t result in the desired outcome. Doubting ourselves instead of the fit of that particular self-care practice for us.

Self-care is necessary and beautiful, but it is also more vast and varied than what we typically hear about.

Self-care is necessary and beautiful, but it is also more vast and varied than what we typically hear about.

And without the guiding force of self-love, we lack clarity. By first cultivating our self-love we can step forward with self-trust and devotion to the nourishing practices of self-care.

In short, self-care is what you do (“the what”), and self-love is why you do it (“the why”).

Is self-love selfish?

No.

Self-love is not self-indulgence or self-absorption. While all of us will step into those waters at some point, self-love will not find lasting satisfaction in those shallow pools.

Having a strong sense of self-love also does not mean walking around with an air of arrogance, nor does it mean bypassing discomfort by way of escapism. Rather, self-love honors our very real human needs. It is a path towards greater self-trust and self-worth.

To practice self-love means a commitment to self-compassion.

And as we become intimate with our own struggles, disappointments, pain, confusion ~ with our tender humanity ~ we tap into a whole new world of empathy, and an ability to engage with complexity and mystery.

Our expanded awareness allows us to recognize and respond to subtle patterns in ways that we previously wouldn’t have seen.

Knowing, accepting and showing kindness to ourselves also allows us to rest in our own belonging. Self-love creates a blessed and necessary inner stability, and the security of this belonging builds our resilience and expands our capacity to face adversity.

And you deserve it. No matter what you have or haven’t accomplished today, yesterday or ever.

Honoring yourself and your human needs is not needy or shameful.

It’s foundational.

Honoring yourself and your human needs is not needy or shameful.

It’s foundational.

Dismissing our needs does not make them disappear.

No one can do it for you ~ this is your journey to step into. And I’m glad you’re here.

Working together

If you feel a resonance and would like support on your self-love journey, I invite you to reach out and schedule a free connection call. This is an opportunity for us to get to know each other better and to see if working together could be a good fit.

I’d also love to have you a part of my email newsletter list, where I share reflections, resources and upcoming offerings to inspire and support you as we walk the path together.

Wherever you’re at on your self-love journey today, I wish you warmth, comfort, gentleness and connection.

May your precious light shine through you.

May we all find the support we need in times of hardship.

May your precious light shine through you.

May we all find the support we need in times of hardship.

And may we all ultimately find our way to wholeness, and indeed, remember that we were never separate.